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I’ll be 48 on October 9th. I’m excited to be 50. 
Is that weird? 
In so many ways, I’m where I need to be. 
I’m ready to be in my fifties. I’m prepping for it. Really. 
I’ve started growing out my gray hair. I have wanted to have gray hair for a long time, but people are oddly averse to that. They tell me to keep dying my hair, that no one should look too old. I want to be that woman who is cool, not done. 
I want gray hair and funky hats. 
I want jeans and white tee shirts. 
I want Ray Ban eye glasses and Frye boots. 
I want stacks of books and long silk scarves.
I want to watch my children grow and need me less.
I want to travel to places where the sea goes on forever.
I want to write every day and I want my writing to be published.
I want to be rooted so deeply in my life that my branches grow new ones.