As I walk into the room, you might want to avert your eyes. It’s painful to watch, I imagine.

I’ve gained a lot of weight. A lot. Let’s not quibble about numbers and what a lot means, okay? My weight is the bane of my existence. It is completely reflective of where I am in the moments of my life and that irritates me. I should just invent forehead banners for people: TOO MUCH STRESS or CHOSE FAMILY-CARE OVER SELF-CARE or NOT SURE HOW TO DEAL WITH FAMILY ISSUES.

I eat to make myself feel good but clearly I’ve overdone it. My stomach is resting on the tops of my thighs when I sit. It is not attractive and it feels terrible. My body is stressed from it as well. My creaking joints and achy muscles must carry around A LOT (no numbers please) of weight these days and I’ve got a lot to do.

I used to watch people who were really overweight and think, at what point is enough enough? I think I’m there. This is going to be my summer. My summer to learn how to be moderate. To jog two miles three times a day instead of setting race goals that scare me and stop me from doing any exercise. To eat healthy, well-balanced meals with an occasional oatmeal raisin cookie without thinking I don’t deserve anything after gorging for a year. To treat me as I would my darling children whom I would never ridicule for eating their way through a year. I would suggest healthy eating, regular exercise, and a journal for getting it out instead of eating through it.

Happy Healthy Summer.